A New Sitter

Wow, has it really been 2 whole months since I last wrote in this blog?? Life...

Anyway, I have a major update: I hired a new "sitter." It feels so weird calling her that. Dominique is my good friend and my assistant & second shooter. And now she's going to help me take care of the boys so that I can catch up on work during the day.

I need this.

You know I need this.

I tried to dedicate my full day to the boys, ignoring work. Roody would come home and we'd cook dinner, put the boys to bed, then I'd pull out the lap top and start working. 10 PM - 2 AM. That was my shift. Then I'd wake up at 8:30 or whenever the boys wake up and I'd do it all over again.

Do you have any idea how tiring that is? Do you know how little work one can get done at those ungodly times for the night??

So a few days ago, after crying from frustration because Jaden didn't want to go to sleep and I needed that nap because I had deadlines to meet, I texted Roody and said, "I can't do this anymore. Please help me figure out a solution."

And so I told Dominique and she was glad to help. From 10 AM - 1 PM she will take care of the boys, drive them to the library, park, or gym, and I will get the chance to work in peace.

I feel like such a bad mother. Mother's Day is approaching and I feel like I don't even deserve anything. But seriously, I just want what's best for the boys. I'm so tired of being tired and irritated because of anxiety caused by being overwhelmed with work, and lack of sleep caused by late night shifts. I just want to be a happier human being, so that I can be happy with my boys.

Dasset.